Written by: Bamidele Salako
Sex! The very word unlocks a vortex. It unleashes a whirlwind of interest. Why? It’s for one major reason only and it is this – sex is sweet! Just as he read that, some ignorant self-righteous 21st century bigot of a Pharisee who knows the Bible more than its Spirit-inspired authors is cursing me out for attempting to voice an obvious truth and asking how on earth I could say such a thing! But I dare say again in bold type and upper case just in case you thought you saw wrongly – SEX IS SWEET!
If sex wasn’t so sweet and pleasurable, illicit sexual relations would hold no allure as to even be regarded as serious temptations to be avoided. If sex was otherwise – no one would need prodding to desist from illicit sexual affairs. Even in rape, sex may be a torture for the victim but certainly pleasurable for the rapist. For Christians who live by the dictates of the Holy Book, sex outside the confines of the conjugal bond has the infamous designation of fornication. Sex between a married individual and a married or single person who isn’t your lawful spouse – you all know what that one is called – Adultery!
The Bible says fornication and adultery are sins to be avoided but how that Bible injunction has succeeded in stopping people – Christians sef – from plucking away at the forbidden tree is no matter of conjecture. Pastors, bishops and reverends are doing it! Tongue-speaking fire-spitting brothers and sisters are doing it everywhere. Married men and women are dropping their trousers and skirts in droves in unimaginable places as we speak (peeps don’t even need beds no more to get going – the photocopier room? Toilet? Deserted office space?). Even now, as you read this, someone somewhere in the world is putting finishing touches to his/her plot to sleep with someone else’s wife or husband (you?) or actually doing the deed.
Why? Because this darn activity that has caused the world a ton of pain and sorrow has a pleasure proposition attached to it that immediately arouses interest such that the mere mention of the simple three letter word has the ears of everyone within the perimeter rising for signals in anticipation of what comes next. Some want to dissociate themselves at once from lewd and open conversations about such a sensitive subject lest they be seen in the same light as “these depraved minds” and be perceived as perverts. But you’ll be shocked to find that there are none more animated these “decent” people on sexual matters in private conversations. You’ll be shocked to find that the initiators are not even as versed as them on the subject matter. Hypocritical? Others couldn’t care less about the holier-than-thou condemning eyes on patrol. Without shame or discretion, they just unleash the verbal bullets and shoot in all directions, with absolutely no regard for the indecency or impropriety of such discourse at that given time or place.
Whatever category you fall into, whether or not you choose to accept it, the fact remains and incontrovertibly so, that sex interests and it is pleasurable. In fact, it interests because it is pleasurable. I remember walking past a formation of policemen within the premises of the office of the Governor of Lagos State during a drill and the song they chanted as they jogged ran like this in Pidgin English, “The time you call me…I nor fit answer, the thing dey sweet o.” Only the uninitiated would claim ignorance of the “thing” that prevented an officer from taking his call which of course was owing to the thing’s sweetness and enjoyability.
“Whether you’re a monk living in a monastery or a preacher with multiple doctorate degrees in theology, no one is immune to sexual temptation.”
The sheer pleasure of sex confers such power on it that it has no respect of persons – like death. Whether you’re a monk living in a monastery or a preacher with multiple doctorate degrees in theology, no one is immune to sexual temptation. And it certainly takes, as people say, “the special grace of God” or an uncommon level of moral discipline to be able to resist the rage of passion and desire, particularly in the sexually-charged world of today. It’s why through history, anecdotal or documented, great men have crumbled like a house of cards due to incontinence and empires have fallen because one man somewhere could not control his sexual drive.
There are two simple but sound sayings that should ordinarily guide all our choices – “Look before you leap” and “Think before you act” but where sex is concerned, many of us do the exact opposite – we leap before we look and act before we think and understandably so. Make una talk true here o. There are many righteous people I wish I didn’t have to disappoint by saying in matters of sex, I have always lived by those two principles, but that would readily make yours-truly the liar of the century. Thank God for his eternal mercies!
The fact that having unprotected sex or having multiple sex partners exposes one to the risk of HIV infection has not stopped guys and girls from having unprotected sex – with multiple sex partners – what with the millions of new incidences of infection world over every year. You probably still did it last night – had unprotected sex, probably a drunken rendezvous, with a total stranger or a long time “target” that finally succumbed. Some even tell you, it’s better to go it raw – “the condom sucks the fun out of it.” Why would they say this and do this in the face of myriad scientifically and medically proven health risks? That five minute pleasure or gratification that sex offers robs us (mostly men) of our senses in that instant when our whole being is charged with just one mission – to bite the juicy apple.
The pleasure proposition is so destabilising that in the heat of passion, when unbridled desires run wild and are screaming for expression, your reasoning faculty and all the memories of the HIV-ads you have seen on TV or heard on radio and the memory of that unfortunate neighbour who recently bit the dust from complications arising from AIDS, instantly take the back seat without the slightest protestation. You actually know you need protection o, but you’re there thinking I dare not miss this golden opportunity. Opportunity wey I don find tire – e com present insef on top platter – one condom wey nor dey go com spoil show – lai lai – anything wey wan happen make e happen.
You think to yourself, in the process of trying to rush out to get the all-important “action accessory” *wink*, an urgent call could come in, her fickle emotions could disappear, that friend with a terrible sense of timing could pop in and “scatter parole” and make your whole ploy of getting laid go south, simply because you decided to spare a minute or second for introspection. But no, the libido rush would have none of that. The words “Seize the moment” suddenly take on a whole new meaning and degree of significance. Then after the first few minutes of doing the deed and reaching the “promised land” and sexual tensions are doused, reality dawns and combines with reason to press home its case forcefully and mercilessly. Fear and destabilisation! “What if?!!!” Chai! I don fuck up. All that emotional trauma for what? Na the sweetness of sex confuse bros!
“The consequences for misfiring could be fatal”
Now, the morality and ethics of sex lies strongly in the realm of personal and religious conviction but in truth, whether in marriage or out of it – the deed is sweet. Whether you’re a church-going, spirit-filled believer or the baddest boy or girl on God’s great earth, let’s not deny the fact of the pleasure of it – what we however each need to consider closely and carefully are the consequences attached to each moment of libidinous indiscretion. The consequences for misfiring could be fatal. Will the sexual encounter be worth the possible pain and loss that could result? Would five minutes of getting down be worth a broken home, a lost ministry, a destroyed career, a diseased body, a damaged womb, as well as the shame, the pain, the rejection and the immeasurable loss that could follow?
The multiplier effect of that minute of imprudence could alter your future forever – beyond redemption – and not just your future but the futures of loved ones. Not everybody gets as lucky as Bill Clinton following a Monica Lewinsky indignity – many actually wave their reputation capital, which btw they took decades to amass, as well as their professional and political futures bye-bye, forever, like former IMF chief, Dominique Strauss-Kahn who lost his lofty position and an almost certain shot at the French presidency because pleasurable passion prevailed over pragmatic reason. Some apples come poisoned and pain, most times, comes packaged as pleasure.
Nobody holy pass. These things happen but what’s the opportunity cost? Actions have corresponding consequences. Draw your own conclusions!
Disclaimer: A critical issue for practical contemplation not a sermon!!!
More to come next week.
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The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and not necessarily those of securenigeria365.